I feel like I haven’t posted in a while.
I guess that’s a good thing, because I’m not super sad anymore.
I’m just stoked to play with Such Gold on the 14th!
I feel like I haven’t posted in a while.
I just wanna know you better.
Why do I hang out with attractive people?
Why can’t everyone just be bisexual/pansexual/everything sexual?
I’m not entirely sure on how I am going to make it.
Sitting at Laney’s house, she’s passed out, and I’m just, well, obviously on tumblr. I am just looking through old messages from when I used to talk to awesome people. Really though, what happened to all the friendships I used to have on here? They all just kind of disappeared.
It makes me miss some of the people I used to think I was so close to, and some of the people I wish I still knew. Don’t get me wrong, I love the people I know now, I just wasn’t expecting to have such a dramatic change in the people that I became close to.
I kind of miss the old days, but I’m enjoying the days where I have it the way I do now. I’m just in one of those weird states of mind again. Woo hoo. It seems to be a reoccurring thing that happens most nights, weather it’s on tumblr, or just in my room by myself, like in tear or what.
I hate when people in real life actually ask me about whatever posts I make on here, and why I’m so upset on here and not showing it in person, or what’s wrong even. Well, let me explain:
I don’t show much emotion unless it is happiness or anger. Thats about it. When I type away on my very own, personal blog, I get to express my other feelings, like I get to do in my songs. I’m generally a fairly happy person on the outside, usually positive. Well, what’s underneath si what counts. It’s my own blog anyways. Shmust4ng is the thing that’s here to help distract me, or help me vent things I don’t want to say out loud to people. It’s where I go to feel better about myself because I have a place to put these feelings.
I’m just a kid with a song in my head. Broadway Calls just couldn’t say it any better. Really, That song in my head. weather it’s a happ song that gets me through the day, or it’s a sad song that I dwell on and ruin my mood over. I’m really just a kid with a song in my head to create a better perspective on how I feel. Right now, I don’t have a song. That’s why I’m so confused. I just don’t understand all the way, but it happens. We can’t always get what we want.
Bring on the stupid text posts that no one will real or care about.
I mean I guess that’s alright, I’m used to it. Ha, I’m never good enough anyways.
I just wish people would fucking tell me before I feel like I have any chance at all, but no. Every fucking person does the same thing.
I’ll just die alone if the rest of my life turns out like that! :’)
I’ve got a plan.
Not sure how to safely execute the plan, but I’m going to do it somehow.
I actually have plans about a couple different things. I’ll keep you guys updated once I get to Coffee Rush.
I’m getting my wolf tattoo finally done on my inner arm. Going to hurt like a bitch, right? Other than that, It’s just gonna be another Sunday, besides the fact that I wont be singing with the guys today. I’ll just be extra loud in my car today I guess!
So I had a conversation with a barista at Coffee rush a few days ago, and it was about my major, and how I might be wanting to switch it, or just use it as a back up/minor kind of thing. A way that I could maybe go somewhere with my writing though, would be on here. I mean I have XXX followers, so it’s a good start. I could even start a new blog about the field of journalism I want to pursue and just go from there. I would have to get an audience to write to though. That’s where you guys come in, If you actually care about a musical blog, reviews on bands, and writing entries about how to better myself as a singer, band progress, or just to red about what music interest me, and I’d even take requests to do research on some bands and write an article on that for you guys if you want. I just want to be able to figure out how far I can get with my dream of writing for other people’s enjoyment without having to write books. I’ll make a blog here in a couple minutes, create a theme, make a few posts, and give you guys the URL and create an RSS feed as well. The feedback I get from you guys would really help. I am counting on you guys, this is my dream.
where are all my gay/bi followers.
Please help me feel not alone about going head over heels for a straight person.
I swear, I learn something new from Rick every day, I’m so happy I met him, instead of taking him as a “crazy old man”. His words really speak to me, weather we share the same belief’s or not. It’s always something inspirational, and if not, just a very wise conversation about anything I’m stressing about, and/or pondering about a song, or just anything really.
Today I was observing artist interviews and just looking at everything from another lyricist’s point of view, to get a better idea of really anything performance-wise or just song writing about a subject I struggle writing. At this point, I’m struggling writing a song that isn’t sad, depressing, etc.
I was going to take it into a different perspective and just look at things that truly bring me joy, as Rick had said. Just analyze this ‘thing’ that makes me happy, that makes me come alive, and put that into words. Make a story out of it, turn it into something I can express on stage, or just to myself in the practice room, the shower, my room, anywhere.
My true feeling of sublime. I would have to say, being up on stage. That is the one place I feel so at peace, I lose all control and let the true feelings and the real ME out when I’m up on stage. I don’t care how many people are there watching, I still have fun with it. I come alive, and it’s really a beautiful feeling. Now it’s time to continue my research and try to put this into words that I can express through a song.
Just an update on today, if anyone really care.
I hate when:
1.) I care so much about someone that everyone seems to hate, and seem to be their only true friend and actually try my best to help out in their situations, and I overly stress myself out emotionally about them.
2.) I get so close with someone, getting to know the genuine person they really are, becoming the friend they come to with almost everything to talk to about no matter what comes up, and I do the same fucking shit and fall head over heels with them and put myself in an awkward funk that gets my mood down every so often.
3.) When I work so fucking hard at work and I just sit there and watch all the fuck heads I work with (with the select few exceptions) just get their money, half ass their fucking job, and then fucking leave. That’s not what you’re fucking getting a paycheck for. You’re getting a paycheck to actually do the shit that you are supposed to do, and fucking get it right.
4.) I get so upset over things like this. I hate these nights.